Erm, because if you're not, than I'm the only one, and I really don't want to be the only one who's stupid.

So...

You're all stupid!

This is a stupid entry. May I excuse it on the basis of a migraine?

I speak of honesty again. I established this incarnation of my blog, to reveal the inner workings of my mind, and in doing so, to define and refine my own beliefs and opinions. To expose myself, is to undo the armour of image and expose my vulnerable, inner self to painful things out there. It takes a lot of courage to write some of the stuff I do. Other stuff are easy to write. The essay on sex was easy to write (because it was impersonal). The re-write was not.

I display myself to the open. Often, I tell complete strangers my whole life, and the pathetic things I have done. I know there are those who think people who air their dirty linen in public are disgusting and without shame. Maybe I am without shame. Or maybe, I hide right in direct view.

Because there are things I never never never speak of. There are things that no one knows. Maybe, I tell everything I can, so people think I hide nothing, since I "tell all."

So what do I hide? Many things. I hide them from myself, as often as not. Mostly, they're stuff that would affect other people if revealed. I seem to attract other people's secrets. Or maybe, I make other people's secrets.

Why is sex important in a relationship?

Because as long as my parents are still having sex, I am completely certain that they won't be divorcing again. (They've done it twice I think, and if it happens a third time, by Islam law, they're not allowed to marry again.)

In speaking of why sex is important in a relationship, I do not imply that mind and heart are not important. Indeed, the reason to commit to a relationship should be based on mind and heart alone, and nothing to do with sex. The heart and one's emotions loves someone irrationally, for reasons incomprehensible and mysterious. The mind wants what is good for itself, what makes a person happy, healthy, and a better person in the whole.

Once a relationship is in place, sex is an essential part of strengthening and maintaining a relationship. The mind, the emotions and the body are all connected. When the body hungers, the mind is affected and unable to think clearly. When the body is confined indoors, without sunlight, the emotions turn sour, gloomy and unhappy. The mind and body can also affect the body. When a person is depressed, the body shows physical effects. Because the mind, heart, and body are connected, two people in a relationship must connect to each other in all three categories, to achieve maximum satisfaction in their relationship. The endorphins released in sex ease both mind and heart, easing connection of mind and heart between two people.

One of the most important things in a relationship, is making each other happy. One should endeavor to make one's significant other satisfied mentally, emotionally and physically. No one is born knowing how to give another person pleasure. That is an ability they acquire through exploration and learning.

This exploration and learning, in an act a couple can only do together, enhances communication and connection between the two people. Sex is an act of exploration of each other, learning to communicate and share things that no one else but the two of you in the relationship share. No one else will know that licking her wrist will make her squeal. No one else will know that he gets aroused by being scratched by his significant other. Things shared in secret between two people enhance a bond special within a relationship, and the best secrets that can be made, are in sex.

Physical exploration also enhances a couple's awareness of each other. Communication is not only by words, but through the body as well. Through sex, a couple will develop wordless communication. She may grab his hand when she is nervous. He may tap his fingers on the table when he is horny. The closer a couple become physically, the better they will know each other physically. Knowing what your significant other says when he or she says nothing increases effective communication. The first sign of discordance in a relationship, is in the body language.

A new couple would not be able to read each other's body language very well. Sex and physical familiarity enhances a couple's understanding of each other. When first exploring sex, a couple will probably have to talk a lot. Say many words and discuss many things. Physical intimacy not only means sex, but understanding each other without saying a word. This can only come about when two people truly understand each other through exploration and learning of each other, in physical manner. What better, more pleasurable way, than sex?

It is true that there are many relationships out there, that exist in the long-term, without a well-developed, hot, intense sex life. Yet that does not make sex any less important. Two people in a relationship can stay together contentedly without a strong sexual life, but a couple with a healthy, regular, adventurous sexual life, has a better life together. They know each other in every single way, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Basically, it's the common problem of the eldest child having left the family home to study overseas, and in that one year, he learns to appreciate the privacy, the responsibility, the independence, and the authority he has over his own life, and then he comes home. The family ends up treating him exactly as they did before he left, but he's no longer the same person he was before, and he can't stand it anymore.

My poor baby finds it so disturbing that he no longer has very much privacy. People walk in and out of his bedroom, his personal space, without asking his permission. He struggles with juggling responsibilities between friends and family and girlfriend, when for a whole year, all he had to worry about was himself.

So he sits there, and tells me these things, and I am torn between wanting to roll my eyes out of sheer exasperation for his upset over something so common, and feeling all worried for him, wanting to help him out. I Love him so.